The Need for Rescue

‘Reading this, I realised that there are times when the ability for self rescue can be compromised, and that enduring the restrictions which the Covid pandemic required of us all, can be such a time. That coming out of those restrictions and re-connecting with people, could also be such a time. I noticed, within myself, that some imaginary scenarios felt too threatening to be managed without outside assistance. The idea (before vaccinations became available and were administered) that, because of our age, we might contract the virus and become desperately ill, even die, became impactful because my... Read More »

How therapy works! The Therapeutic Relationship.

Whatever theoretical approach to counselling or psychotherapy a practitioner is trained in, or prefers to use, and whatever models they adopt or tools they offer the client, there is only one aspect of talking therapy which is absolutely key to its effectiveness, and that is the level of trust which is built between the client and the therapist.  It is this, the ‘therapeutic relationship’, which allows the transparency of sharing to create the environment for change. It is common for counsellors and psychotherapists to rely on their training, on their experience and on their accreditation with a recognised Membership Body as... Read More »

Mindfulness and Trauma

For a while now I have been convinced that Mindfulness could hold a key to the effective management of post-traumatic stress – in terms of somatic symptoms and in the management of anxiety and panic attacks.  There is an obvious correlation between the calming effects of Mindfulness meditation scripts and the need to control the run-away panic caused by extreme anxiety, but also, in the simplest terms, the idea of being grounded in the here and now, or in the present, can create the necessary anchor which can safely enable the ‘front’ brain (Hippocampus) to start to process the trauma... Read More »

A New Perspective for the New Year

I suspect everybody has done it at some time in their lives – or felt it, at least. The guilt which seems to come out of nowhere and which induces apology. We feel ‘bad’ and responsible for someone else’s discomfort. In the UK, it has become part of the culture to say ‘sorry’ a lot! We say “sorry I’m late” when we have been held up by traffic or a late train, or if we feel depressed and disheveled we say “sorry I’m such a mess”. So many people feel it necessary to apologise when they are reduced to tears... Read More »

What does it mean to be alone?

“When you are alone you are not alone, you are simply lonely.. and there is a tremendous difference between loneliness and aloneness. When you are lonely you are thinking of the other, you are missing the other. Loneliness is a negative state. You are feeling that it would have been better if the other was there.. your friend, your wife, your mother, your beloved, your husband.. it would have been good if the other was there but the other is not. Loneliness is the absence of the other. Aloneness is the presence of oneself. Aloneness is very positive. It is... Read More »